Leadership and EQ by Sean Murray

In the past, it might have been true that leaders could succeed simply because they were smart. But that’s no longer all it takes. While technical skills remain important, our emotional intelligence (referred to as EQ or EI) is just as important as our IQ. In fact, research shows that a leader’s emotional intelligence has a direct impact on the success of an organization.

Daniel Goleman, a thought-leader on the topic of EI, says this about emotional intelligence:

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”

Although it takes some effort to improve or enhance our EQ, the end results – better relationships, as well as a higher potential for personal and professional success – are worth it. Try these ways of increasing your emotional intelligence:

Self-awareness:
•  Name your emotions as you experience them.
•  Take note of your inner dialogue. Does it change, based on the emotion you are experiencing?
•  Reflect on the cause of your emotions.

Self-management
•  Try practicing different responses to emotionally-charged situations (e.g., if you get angry when your ideas are challenged, practice how you can respond without anger).
•  Find a way to relax or redirect yourself before you take action on a negative emotion. (Build Resilience)
•  Use positive affirmations to create an inner dialogue that supports your emotional well-being.

Empathy
• Aim to use active listening in the majority of your conversations.
• Look for cues about how people feel: watch their face, observe hand gestures and notice their overall body language.
• Seek to understand the other person’s perspective when you aren’t in agreement.

Building Relationships
• Make mutually-beneficial outcomes and solutions your preference.
• Learn from others’ ideas and opinions; openly share your own.
• Invest time in getting to know others in order to build a strong foundation in your relationships.

Understanding and accessing our EI requires practice. (And, even with a lot of practice, it’s unlikely we’ll ever score 100% on the EQ test.) But the emotional and relational benefits in our personal and professional lives make the effort to understand and practice EI worthwhile.

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